Crossing the Language Barriers!

*warning - you may find this offensive. But you should try to be less offend-able*

After being "drunk" on Allie Brash's words for the last 48 hours, I decided that it is "high" (pun intended) time i wrote something. For those of you who have not read her blog, please check this out. It is way more interesting than this one. I Promise. For the other faithful readers, here goes.

I was thinking hard and fast on what I should write about when it struck me - the injustice and atrocity committed against thousands of tamizhians every day. 

No. I am not going to write about the Srilankan issue - I wish i was that fancy, but no.

Being a victim of this injustice myself - I have managed to vent out all my passive aggressiveness in this post. I am not responsible if you find this offensive. If you can relate to this though, then i know you are one of those poor souls who is staying outside of Tamil Nadu and don't know Hindi - Know that I stand with thee, mighty warrior! You are not alone!

If you are really interested we can even decide upon a war cry. Next time someone speaks to us in hindi - we can shout out our war cry, pull a mock gun and say ''Enaku hindi theriadu. Nan oru thadava sona nooru thadava sona madhiri*  (to the non Tamil speaking folks - that translates to "i don't know Hindi. If i say once it is equivalent to me saying it a hundred times". That is a rajinikanth's dialogue.)
Ah, The irony of me translating the sentence - See, this is called courtesy guys!

So, this is how my typical conversations go with a group of 'Hindi speaking folks'.

Everyone : Blah. Blah blah. blah blah blah. blah.
Me: Guys, I dont understand hindi. Can you all please talk in english
Some really good people try to talk in English. I get some context
Before I can reply, some douche-bag steers the conversation back to Hindi.
Me: *Screaming in my head* English guys
My feeble attempts don't seem to bring any change and i give up and start zoning people out.

Sometimes, the conversation goes one step further and people say one of these things and my mind voice screams out to them

1. You should be knowing Hindi.

    *OH REALLY? IS THERE A LAW THAT SAYS I SHOULD KNOW HINDI? ARE YOU GOING TO PUT ME IN JAIL?*
                                   

2. Hindi is a national language.

    *WHICH COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM? DON'T TELL ME INDIA. BECAUSE THERE IS NO NATIONAL LANGUAGE IN INDIA. THERE ARE 22 OFFICIAL LANGUAGES IN INDIA AND TAMIL IS ONE OF THEM. GO BACK TO SCHOOL*

                                         

3. But, the punch doesn't come out well in english (This is my personal favourite)

    *DUDE, I COME FROM TAMIL NADU. THE LAND OF RAJINIKANTH - DO YOU EVEN REMOTELY THINK YOUR PUNCHES CAN OVERRIDE THAT? DO YOU? I DARE YOU!   NO? THEN DON'T TALK ABOUT PUNCHES. I MIGHT ACTUALLY GIVE YOU ONE*
                                 

4.  But, you do know hindi.

     *YEAH I DO! I AM DUMB! THAT'S WHY I DON'T REPLY.*
       some clarification required here - i actually do know a little Hindi. I tried going to a spoken hindi class because the first time i stepped in hyderabad everyone spoke in hindi and i felt very alienated (sobs!). But no, that hindi is not enough! It is enough for me to communicate if absolutely necessary (like when i am on a life threatening situation and there are no english talking ppl around - bachaiye mujhe!!) - not to join in on a conversation. You speak jibberish and i can grasp the concept if i am really really attentive. But, that drains out all my energy - so i don't even try most of the times. 

5. Why don't you listen to this and learn hindi?

     *DEI, NAN TAMIL LA PESINA UNAKU PURIYUMA DA? NEE IPADYE TAMIL KATHUKUVIYA? NEE ENA AVLO PERIA APATAKARA?*
(And no i wont translate for you - go try to learn it yourselves! That is me being super rude)

when i talk like that some people reply, "sapitaya?", "or tamil theriyadu".  Okay, it is cute! THE FIRST TIME. If i say "Kana kaye kya?" everytime i met you wouldn't you feel a little wierd? 
                               

Some of you might say, be a roman in rome! Learn hindi - The thing is we never complaint when someone who doesn't know english talks to us in hindi. We try to get to know their language in that case and communicate as much as possible (Ask my maid! I really try hard!)
It is only when people who do know english talk in hindi that my blood boils and the warrior in me comes out!
So, beware you guys! I might curse you 10 years in chennai if you keep up the "You should know Hindi cause you are in India attitude")

P.S. If you are offended, do let me know! We can work on it! I am really a sweet person. Except when it comes to hindi ;)

P.P.S If you find that i have some resemblance of allie brash in this post (I am super optimistic here ;) ), don't say i copy! I read 200 posts in 2 days. I have every right to be inspired :D